round the mulberry bush

I feel that I should be doing some reading for my assignment. So what I am doing is avoiding it. I’m really tired today. I did a shift at the hospital this morning, so was up at 5.45. Good old Rumple has taken the piggies out for the afternoon so I can have some time dossing.

This essay is on borderline personality disorder and heroin use. I also have a presentation on wednesday. I have got to do some stuff for my portfolio and then there is the ever looming dissertation. If  I do all this and then there are bugger all jobs at the end of it, I am going to be well pissed off. So far, one person from the cohort in front of me has a job. The Trust is in a right old state. They are reconfiguring and so shuffling everybody around. People are having to reapply for their jobs etc. Shit one.

If all else fails then I am going to keep my fingers crossed that there are jobs at St Andrews Hospitals. They’re forensic services and I quite fancy that.

Nothing else is really happening in my world at the moment. I have no social life, but don’t think I have the energy to do anything about it….I have aged horribly since the beginning of this course aswell I’m sure. All along the streets where my Uni block is, there are pubs and therefore there are lots of people outside giving out promo leaflets. In the first year, I would get bombarded. Now these promo type people avoid eye contact with me and offer me naught.haha.

This actually sounds like quite a moany, dreary post. But believe it or not, I am still loving my training and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Only 10.5 months to go

Upon entering the small piggies warzone of a bedroom this evening, I stood on a miniature railroad thing that has very hard plastic trees and assorted buildings. It killed. If you have never trodden on a thomas the tank mini world, then think standing on a plug. Same pain. Because this hurt a lot, I lost my balance and ended up on my arse in a big pile of spikey lego. That really killed. I am left with some sort of puncture wound on  my right buttock. Therefore I now hate lego and feel it should be banished from the kingdom.

I have a presentation tomorrow. It’s  practice presentation in preperation for the real one in December which is my exam. We are looking at complex care in mental health so I have done mine on Domestic Violence, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the correlating issues. That sounds quite good, although I don’t think that the presentation itself will. I like to run over it time and time again in my ever anal way, but havent really had time to do that. We have had a week to prepare it. It’s not marked anyway, it’s just to get some feedback so I’m not too fussed.

I finally have my first shift on the trust bank this weekend. It’s been 16 months since I applied so it’s about time. The money is pretty good for weekend shifts, which is obviously exactly what we need at the mo. Hopefully things are beginning to look up. Regular readers (thanks you three) will know that times have been a bit dodgy and stressful for a while now so bit of good stuff is most welcomed.

Anyway I am off to drink a bit of wine, watch a bit of telly and then get my poor punctured arse up to bed!

Rumple got the job!!

I think it is finally really sinking in that this time next year I won’t be a student anymore. I will be a real live nurse. Weird. One thing that worries me a little bit is that I have never even been shouted at during my training, so will I cope if once I’m a nurse a poorly person tries to knock my head off.

It’s not that I have never challenged any of the patients/clients that I have worked with. I have. I got called a fucking Nazi once by a lady who had dementia and thought that the ward was a concentration camp. Understandable I reckon, seeing as I was the one telling her that the door was locked and she had to stay. She didn’t screech it in my face though, just stated it as a matter of fact. Thats about as far as any kind of confrontation has gone though.

I haven’t had the opportunity to practise any kind of de-escalation stuff, not really. I have been in situations where I have had to be negotiator between two patients who were about to kill each other over a cushion, but never to save my own ass from getting mullered.

I am hoping that the skills I had to use when I worked at the drug rehab unit (where I was a project worker up until I got pregnant with little piggy) will stand me in good stead. I got shouted at there quite a lot, and also had a stalker who it transpires was planning on raping me at some stage during his programme. Nice.

I am hoping that I get PICU (Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit) for my next placement where it is likely that I will have to de-escalate something or other.

It’s big piggies birthday today. He’s 12!!

I am now back in the swing of being a fully fledged student tosser. We went back to Uni properly on Monday. Much the same as the lovely Cellar Door (find her blog on my blog roll…tis very good) I have realised that being at Uni can be a pain in the arse. Theres nobody in my group that I dislike immensely. Theres some that I like immensely. There are many however would scare the shit out of me if I was ill and they nursed me. Either because a/ they haven’t got a fecking clue….or b/their general attitude is poor.

I think that the Uni can’t wait to get rid of us. Our group has a bad reputation due to the ratio of nobs to nice people (with nobs far outweighing the latter). On our first day back, we went over the ground rules extensively AGAIN. Our lecturers felt that this was necessary…you know the usual “respect for others opinions” etc. I felt quite insulted really seeing as I’m 33 years old, but hey ho..maybe the people that need to listen will ignore everything they said in much the same manner as they have done for years one and two  take it on board.

On a positive note, I have finally decided after much deliberation that my dissertation will be about suicide in schizophrenia..with particular attention paid to command hallucinations. It is probably the 846267549th idea that I have thought of, but I handed in my proposal this morning so thats that. I’m actually quite looking forward to getting stuck into it.

On another positive note, Rumple has a job interview on Friday. They phoned to let him know this afternoon. Seems to have lifted his spirits a bit cos he has not been liking this staying at home business. He has been particularly grumpy and quite difficult to be around. It has really knocked him though, being made redundant. So fingers crossed

I finished placement yesterday. The staff and clients gave me such a lovely send off. The staff said lots of nice stuff and got me some nice cards. The clients bought me a necklace and bought/made cards for me. They trickered me by asking me to go and do the register in the community lounge. When I got in there I noticed that all of the clients, nurses and doctors were in there. I clicked that I had been duped. Twas a very nice duping though. One of the clients made a speech and I got a round of applause. Most touching…I had a lump in my throat. I will miss those guys and I would work there in a heart beat if there was anything going when I qualify.

On a shit note, Rumple got made redundant yesterday I think he is kind of relieved that it is all over. He has known that he was up for redundancy for a month now and so it has been playing on his mind . But now he knows where he stands he can move forward. He has got a couple of jobs lined up, doing bits and bobs for people. I am glad cos I think that if he had nothing to do then he would get really down. Poor old Rumple. It’s really important to him to be providing for his family, and anything less makes him feel like he’s failing I think. I don’t think he is, I think he does a top banana job. We’ll wait and see what happens though, no point stressing over it cos it won’t change anything.

So back to Uni next week…year 3. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, but not to the HUGE workload that we have awaiting us!!

After my disaster with forgetting to go to placement, things have been really good. I am really enjoying being back there. Shame I have to leave in 2 weeks cos I have just got to know the new lot of clients. I’m quite looking forward to going back to Uni for my final year though. Just can’t believe that it’s come round so quickly! Have finally decided on what I’m doing my dissertation on after alots of different ideas and changing my mind loads.

The piggies are back at school. Middle piggy started junior school on the Friday, and big and little piggy started on Monday. They have all settled in really nicely, which is a huge relief. I thought the most traumatic would be watching my smallest boy start school, but he was fine. I think because he has been at nursery for 2 years made for an easy transition. He just gave us a kiss and waved us off as he got stuck into the toys. Watching big piggy gp off to senior school nearly made me cry though. He was a bit worried and nervous, despite saying that he wasn’t and it was hard watching him go off into that big school, where he looks so little now.I think that the fact that I was bullied at big school made me nervous for him. He is nothing like I was as a child though. He isn’t a nervous boy and he has bags of self esteem and confidence. He has made new friends and he is enjoying it. He got the tip mark in his class for a maths test aswell which made me very proud

Middle piggy seems to have pulled away a bit from the kid that he has been hanging around with for the past couple of years. This kid is really bossy, and also the most popular boy in the class. He says that he is getting on okay at school but I will check with his teacher when I go and see her next month.

So things are going well at the moment, which is good cos I started to feel a bit down towards the end of the hols. We just need to wait and see what happens with Rumples job now, but it is out of our hands completely so no point getting too stressed about it.

Yesterday on facebook I noticed that lots of my student nurse colleagues were talking about shifts this week on placements. I didn’t really take a great deal of notice. It wasn’t until about half eleven last night that it dawned on me that I too, should have been back on placement. What a whopper. I checked my trusty student guide and sure enough, I should have started back yesterday, not next week like I thought.

So whilst I was generally pottering round, reading my James Herbert (which incidentally was really good) and watching trashy tv…I should have been putting in a shift at the hospital. Oops.

I texted my mentor this morning and told her of my mistake. I couldn’t have gone in today due to the fact that I had no childcare sorted out. She replied “twit…don’t worry about it”. So i don’t think she’s too arsed. I have also emailed the module leader. She might eat my head when she sees me, cos she is a bit scary.

I am usually organised to the degree of total anal retention, so this is bad for me! Infact the whole placement has gone a bit pearshaped what with changing my start times, swine flu, interviews for the trust etc etc. Ah well, such is life i suppose! I have got most of my achievement grid signed off already so I’m not too worried.

Back to placement on Tuesday. I am meant to be back Monday but my mentor has kindly let me have an extra day off cos the piggies are going to school..they are all starting new schools, so it will be  a big day.

The summer hols have been a bit of a wash out to be honest. The combination of the shit weather, nil funds, swine flu and ruptured appendix have meant that we haven’t done a great deal of fun stuff. We’ve done some, but I can’t wait until we have some money and can take the boys away in the holidays.If Rumple does get made redundant next month then we are going to use a little bit of the money to book a caravan holiday for next year. I think we deserve it.

I have a bit of academic stuff to do whilst on placement. Once I am back into the swing of things, i will feel more motivated I’m sure. Also now my laptop is working again, i can take it in and get some stuff done if it’s quiet.

Then its back to uni for my third and final year. I really can’t believe how quickly it’s all gone. I’m not sure what modules we are going back to. I know that one of them is research, which I hate hate hate. I am looking forward to finding out where my next placement is cos that’s the last one that they chose for me. The one after that is my elective management placement. I hope I get PICU or A&E liaison or forensics…or perhaps CAMHS.

I think I will miss being a student when I qualify. it’s nice being able to go to different placements and then back to uni when you’re just beginning to have had enough of being out in practice. Will somebody please remind me of that when i am up to my eyes in dissertation, exams and research plop.

Well I am feeling much better. My motivation seems to have returned and I have done many of the things on my can’t be arsed list. I reckon it was okay to have a blip, after the shite stuff that has happened.

Me and Rumple are still really looking at whether we should move next year. It’s a big step and I worry about relocating the kids just incase they hated it, but nothing ventured nothing gained I suppose.

My friends sister in law moved to Australia with her 3 kids last year. Says its the best thing they ever did. If they can manage to move all that way, then surely me and Rumple and the piggies could manage somewhere like the Isle of Wight???