December 30, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized
I had a really lovely Christmas. It’s just a shame that it’s over so quickly. Christmas day was ace. I got lots of nice stuff, including season 4 of 24 (of which I watched 10 episodes back to back on Sunday…bliss).
The piggies were fab aswell. We had a whole day of peace and harmony..no arguing or fighting. It all went back to normal by Boxing Day though, but at least we had one day of the year!
I have eaten my own body weight (which is steadily increasing) in quality street. I feel another diet coming on in the new year.
Yesterday Pippy came to visit. She bought me a belated pressie. If you have read previous posts then you will know that I lost my very favourite childhood book. It was really special to me, with much sentimental value. It was Cinderella, the 1963 ladybird version….Pippy bought it for me!! I was so pleased 
I was also reflecting the other day (as all good student nurseys do) and realised that this New Years day it will be 10 years since I was really poorly and took an overdose. What a horrible time. I really couldn’t see atall how things would ever get any better. But they did and they continue to do so.
So that’s nearly it for another year. I hope 2009 is full of good stuff…:)
December 14, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged boxing day, finished, shennanigans, work
I have finished all my work. Yay!! It’s such a weight off the old shoulders. I hope it’s not a load of old crap now. I feel like I have done my best. I have my tutorial tomorrow though where my tutor will cast his beady eye across my assignments (which are covered in blood, sweat and tears) and tell me whether they are okay. He’d better…otherwise I may pummel him.
I am in the doghouse. Mother is not impressed with Marge. I spoke to her yesterday and she asked if I would be down for dinner on Boxing Day. I was quite non-committal and said “yeah I might”…she then said “yeah you will”. It was there that the expectation was born. I probably would go down Boxing day, but I like to kind of make my own choices rather than be told what I’m doing.
Also, what I am looking forward to is dossing around, doing very little and not having to be anywhere at a certain time and rush round like a blue arsed fly…like I do when I am at Uni. Anyway, Pippy asked today if I was going on Boxing Day and I said something along the lines of “i don’t know really, I haven’t made any concrete plans”. My Mum really took offence, and walked off and didnt really speak to me after that. I hear she’s still in a mood now. Brilliant.
December 13, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged uni, rumple, placement, job, module leader, Christmas
I finished for Christmas yesterday. It was a bit sad really. I have had a great time this term. It started off a bit pearshaped cause there was all sorts of weird conflicts going on in the group, but it settled down and was really good. I got to know people in the group better and I think that we ended up working really well together.
Our module leader was brilliant. He is new to the University and really enthuisiastic about our learning, without a trace of boredom or cynicism. He taught us all about assessment which was interesting in itself, but he also encouraged us to have our own opinions and encouraged us to express ourselves which I think has done wonders for everybodies confidence. He also told us quite freely about his own mental health difficulties which really made me respect him. I bet he would have been a brilliant ward manager because he is so empathetic and an all round lovely bloke.
I doubt we will have him again which is a shame. Some of the lecturers are a bit rigid and scary and I reckon the atmosphere will be completely different.
This time last year I was thinking about my first ever placement and cacking it ever so slightly. At that stage I still wasn’t sure whether I was cut out to do mental health nursing. But to be honest, I really think I have found my niche. I have learned loads in the last year. Not just theory stuff, but stuff about my own strengths and limitations ( yes I know this is starting to sound like a cheesy CV) …tis true though.
I have pretty well finished my coursework. I have critiqued the Mini Mental State Examination for dementia (which incidentally I have realised is quite shite) and I just have to write about prescribing guidelines. Then I can completely relax until January 12th when we start our placements.
The Christmas tree has gone up, it looks really nice.Whether it still will by the time Christmas comes is another matter. The piggies may well have rearranged it somewheat by then.
Best of all, Rumple found out yesterday that the company he has gone to are definitely keeping him on!!!!!It’s been awful, this hanging over our heads for the past couple of months. He has done really well, they have made most of the team redundant. Which is crap this close to Christmas. What a relief…:)
December 9, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged uni, mental health, rumple, ace, bookworm, jobs
We break up on Friday. Then it’s placement from January to March. I will miss Uni, I have really enjoyed this term. Things went a bit wobbly at the beginning when my mood dropped and things were cack, but on the whole I have had an ace time. It has gone so fast aswell. Probably because we have been so busy with assignments and an exam to revise for.
I got 100% in my exam so I was well pleased. I don’t think I have ever got full marks in anything before. It will also bump up my average mark which will go in my favour if I decide I want to switch to the degree. I think I do want to, it’s just whether we can afford the cut in my bursary. Hopefully things will be back on track with the job situ for Rumple. He finds out on Friday whether he is being taken on with this new company or not. They have kind of left him hanging for weeks now so at least the waiting is nearly over. Fingers crossed. Theres no point worrying about it because theres nothing we can do, so I shan’t.
After this placement, I will be half way through the course. Unbelievable. Although I can’t wait to qualify and hopefully get a job, I will miss Uni. I am really enjoying it. Even though at the beginning of a module when I look at the work and think there is no chance that I will get it done, or at least do it well…I really enjoy studying. Well, specifically, I really enjoy studying mental health. It genuinely interests me that much that I like having an excuse for being a bookworm and reading endless stuff on the subject.
I know I have said it before, but this is one of the best decisions I ever made
December 7, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged borderline personality disorder, child abuse, good book, negative, ptsd
They have changed wordpress. I am not sure as I’m a fan. the font has changed. I don’t like it and can’t see how to change it back. Never mind.
I’m reading a really good book at the moment. It’s called “A bright red scream: self-mutilation and the language of pain” by Marilee Strong. I recommend it. Anyway, theres a chapter in there that talks about child abuse and Borderline Personality Disorder. I have come across some really negative attitudes from mental health professionals towards patients with BPD. Stuff like “she’s personality disorder…its all me me me with her”. When I first encountered that sort of stuff, I wasn’t sure why I disagreed with the values behind it, because I had only been training for 8 weeks and knew less than I did now. I just knew that it didn’t sit right with me.
Since then I have discovered that anyone who works in mental health will more than likely have encountered that sort of shit.
During a presentation about personality disorder the other day, Miss. P said something that I thought was really profound and wise. When discussing the negative perception of individuals with BPD she said something along the lines of ..”people are up in arms about child abuse, and rightly so. But borderline personality disorder is often the abused child further down the line”. She was dead right I reckon…so why is there often a shitty perception?
In her book, Marilee Strong says that sometimes, BPD is a diagnostic dumping ground for patients who exhibit some of the criteria, plus the fact that they are difficult to work with. She says that it is often to do with the fact that practitioners feel they are unable to “fix” the person and that when the characteristics of BPD manifest themselves (such as fear of abandonment, manipulation…although I hate that word), they feel impotent and they don’t like it basically. I think there is truth in that.
She also suggests that BPD should be reclassified and grouped with Post traumatic stress disorder. Seeing as there is a high correlation between childhood abuse and subsequent personality disorder, I think she is entirely right. After all, childhood abuse is a trauma, very much so.
If that were to happen, then maybe there would be less negativity. It’s kind of like it’s okay to have PTSD cos something bad has happened that was out of your control and therefore, your distress is justified. However what I have seen sometimes is that people think that those with BPD are behaving in whatever manner on purpose, just to be a pain in the arse and they could snap out of it if they really wanted to. Thats bollocks. BPD is more often than not the product of something bad happening that was out of the persons control…how is that different??????
